Where Do I Belong?: Lonely Heart

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Lonely Heart

I belong to my lonely heart pain
I know if I keep positive and hoping for faith to wash away the pain
faith that I will stop wondering where do I belong?
I've belonged to so many things in my life, I never stopped to absorb that thought
for the last 18 years my life and heart belonged to my love of my life, Lars

How do you keep that love and continue on, knowing it's gone
How to now figure out how I belong to my own life again?
What does that mean?
What does that look like?
I guess I need to continue on and find out~~

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I am the mysterious Gypsy Traveler

This is my healing journey through grief, after loosing the love of my life June 2014....

to read from the beginning start from June, 2015.

I know I'm not alone on this journey, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like that. Sometimes the grief takes over and I ask myself everyday "Where do I belong?"

This is my story, it's for myself, but I have chosen to share this and if it helps or touches anyone then that's a very good thing.

I'm sure most people ask themselves this question sometime in their lives.

I am conflicted with living two lives, I am from Utah, but spent the last 18 years in Idaho, feeling like I belonged some where, now knowing that my life turned upside down and will never be the same.

For now I don't have to decide where I belong?, no one is making me decide? Why am I? I am just trying to belong to wherever I am and have that be my home. Sounds good on paper, but can't quite seem to do it, my heart is torn in half.

I belong to myself, I belong to the wind, I belong to my friends and back again. I belong to the day that engulfs me with sun. I belong to the universe on a path to reinvent myself and have fun.....

Continued on the next pages are my journal entries from April 2015 and up to the now and I will continue my journey forward to see if it's possible to answer my question~~or not?